REALITY DO HURT

I know im giving you alot of pressure, that is because i dun want it to fail......

I cant afford it, you to fail me....

Not that i dun wanna help you out, is i dun have the ability yet to help you.....
the most i can do is just remind you, give you encouragement in every way possible i know of..


maybe it doesn't appeal to you, but you dun expect me to spell it out to you right???
if you cant feel it, is ok, because im just doing some little things that i can do in my way to help you.... 
you know i will not let you face it alone... 
im always there nagging and reminding and trying my best to provide you support in ways i know....
i hope you understand.... I want you to be happy......


I'm sorry if i made you felt lonely in facing it alone, i will try and do better next time....
but i hope you also understand under limited resources, this is all that i can do for now....

F*** YOU!!!!!!

letting out my anger here, cant open face book!!!!!
also letting you girls know how to handle if you meet this kinna if you are alone and u accidently hit a car....

That day i was driving to go get stuffs from a shop, there were alot of cars when i wanna cut out into the next lane, there was a SATRIA NEO BLACK!!! in front of me, i saw then moving, so i release break slowly, my auto car moved abit, then i dint notice the car breaked infront of me, because cars were cutting in, and i was looking at the other side to cut out.. like maybe 6 seconds, my car jerk abit...

at first i tot i hit the curb of the road, then i saw the hand from SATRIA asking me to move to the side, then i know i accidently hit it...

i tot should be nothing much, cause i just let go brake oni, i went down n look at the car, dint even bother bout my own car...

couldn't see it the first time, the owner Malay Lady had to point it to me... so then i saw it, it was a scratch, around 5cm long, as thin as a needle.. so i told her i am very sorry, i ask her how she wanna settle???

she told me her car duno what tranquility black shit, the color very rare, send to the workshop, need freaking paint the entire bumper....i say need mer?? and the bf started scolding me, she wanted charge me RM200 and her BF was scolding me bad words, i ignore.. i told her i am very sorry, all i have it RM50 in my wallet, i can give you.

she dint want, then she ask for my hp and IC (wanna take a picture of my IC). say she will call me and ask me pay next time. and our conversation went on like this, filled with violence from her BF.

me : sry miss, I dont think i can let you have a picture of my IC, as it contain personal information

her BF : FUCK YOU!!! what the hell personal information, YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH YOUR FACE INTO THE ROAD???  tell me what stupid personal information.

ME : sry i really cannot give you my IC, you can have my driving licence if you want, but not IC...

her BF : YOU ARE FREAKING STUPID RIGTH !!!!

me: sry can we sit find somewhere to continue our conversation, cause i need to get some stuff urgently

lady: no im rush to go XXX ( i forgot, but is somewhere near Seremban)

me: whr is that????

her BF : FUCK YOU, are you local ah.

me: i oni travel within this area, so i duno whr is it.

lady : whr you stay

ME : XXXX

lady : i know the house prices there, dun tell me you no money!!! ( i was thinking money oso not mine, and so what, im not selling my house)

ME : hold on can i call my fren.....

her BF: call as many fren you like stupid..

after i called my fren.

i told the lady: i really dun have money, the most i can give you is RM50 that is all i got in my wallet...

her BF: FUCK YOU la, u langgar orang kereta then wanna pay RM50 and run...

he kept scolding my, saying FUCK YOU, say wanna punch my face into the road, and i was alone at 8.50p.m. i was so scared..

then my fren came, my fren offer to ask somebody to help them cover the scratch beautifully and cost around RM100 most, she dun want, insisting i need pay her RM200 for the 5CM LONG THIN SCRATCH... my fren told me go police station, but i dint want, cus i duno go police what will happen...

later i told the lady can you ask your bf to step aside, i cannot communicate with him around and im trying to solve this...

i told the lady, im really very sorry, i know you love your car, but i really dun have money, all i have is RM50, and your bf is threatening me. so please, im just a student... can you just accept RM50 and we settle this. she say NO, at least RM150..... my fren told me go police station, cuz she dun wanna settle it, mt fren oso told her, go police station, the most is pay saman oni, and she oso cannot claim insurance on such a small matter, that's why she oso dint wanna go police station, the malay lady said: "kenapa you mahu bayar sama kat police???"

then her bf came back with a rock in his hand, he said : you langgar orand kereta, tak mahu bayar, you mahu say lempar batu ni at your car???

my fren: you mahu u lempar la.. then we solve this....

but the Malay bf dint throw, instead he said: you mahu this rock in your face isit??

the 2 guys were at the edge of fighting, and i was crying, i was really scared already, that guy had a rock in his hand. i told my fren, I PAY HER RM50, you get into my car now, later i come in you drive away ok... go.....

so I GAVE RM50 told the Malay lady, " here, this is all i have, take it, your BF is threatening me, im already very scared, i dun think i can talk to you anymore.." i walk to my car like one car distance away, get into it, and my fren started driving. the Malay guy shouted, BODOH ORANG CINA LANGGAR MAHU LARI!!

3 seconds later i got onto the car, i heard a loud noise from my car, the Malay guy took the rock in his hand which was half the size of my head and THROW IT TOWARDS MY CAR...

my fren was pissed and nearly fight...luckily 4 arab man came down and stopped the them both.

now after so many days, i am over it, suddenly got a police letter came to my house, asking me go police station on Sunday because the SATRIA NEO owner reported to police,

I'm like what the hell man, i paid you, and you throw rock at my car, you somemore dare go report police, fine, if you really wanna charge me, im gonna charge you back for assaulting me, threatening my safety, and throwing rock towards me... lets see what the police will do....

girls, if you ever hit a car, and you are alone, please beware of this kinna ppl.....

if you see a black satria neo with a short fat man and short fat lady with lots of holes on her face, dun go near then, they just want your money....BEST IS GO POLICE STATION !!!!!

我，你了解吗？？

多过半年了，我真的有那么难捉摸吗？？

你还听不出来我几时不开心吗？？？？？

你还不明白当我犹豫不决时，告诉你我应不应该的时候，

我多么希望你能够在我身边吗？？

我的心真的有那么难了解吗？？

有时觉得好辛苦要一直等待，期待，盼望的某一天。

我现在只想靠一靠，躺一躺，什么都不要想。

可是女人乱想的天性还是无法被压抑！！！

Sometimes after quarrels only you realize how much a person worth in your heart.

But usually after quarrels, there will be a shadow within both of you..

Even though you may realize he/she is important, but its hard to go back to how it begin， no matter how hard you try.

Everything was still so perfect and all you see in each other was how much they loved you, and how much you love them. you could care less about your surroundings.

You may wonder with all the flaws u see in your other half, is it worth holding on?

Yet, you still wont let go because you remember how he/she once embrace you..

You might feel that is tough sometimes, to hard to hold on, why dun u just let it go, anyway there might be tons of better ones out there.

Yet again, u recall how he/she notice something that you yourself do not even bother off caring and felt so warm deep inside.

Now, when things get really hard between both of you, and it seems like the only solution is giving up on each other. can you let go？?
You try real hard erasing the images in your memories. Yet the harder you try you rub it away, the harder you will cry.. it feels worse than the end of the world..Its so pain that even how loud you scream its still never loud enough, as though even the stars are still shining so bright, but all you see is nothing in front of you..

Hold on to things you treasure. Do not let your fears and reality take you down so easily.

STAND YOUR GROUND TOGETHER!!!ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!
you must have

FAITH, HOPE, TRUST and PIXIE DUST!!!

WAIT n TRUST

i know you care,

i know you are curious,

i know you wanna know,

but i dun wanna tell you..

YOU DUN UNDERSTAND,

and i know you probably wont AGREE,

but can you just STOP COMMENTING BOUT THINGS YOU DUNO!!!

DUN ACT LIKE YOU KNOW..

you are smart, SO WHAT,

you aren't me..

so just LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!!

as i said, when the time its right,

you no need ask, i'll tell it to you....

i know whr im going, n what im doing...

THANK YOU FOR CARING, BUT TRUST ME, AND LEAVE ME ALONE......

STRESS!!!!

cant sleep tonite....

having headache....

its coming back again....

and i just started my new life....

but its not oni bcuz of studies,

thr are so many more things keeping me up at this hr...

i duno why, i just cant seem to stay calm,

wat if she's late??

although she's been late few times...

wat if she deosn't come??

wat am i suppose to do?????

freak out or stay calm....?

cant sleep, pain pain, head pain..

maybe im just overdoing it,

why am i always thinking so much,

thinking bout anything n every possibilities...

i hate it!!!

can it just stop for awhile,

give me some peace...!!!!

i freaking need some peace...

SOMEONE , ANYONE, GIVE ME SOME PEACE....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

silence....(shhhh)

i shall leave with happy memories,

and a smile to say i'll be alright.

i wont deny although it has only been such a short while,

it still hurt abit inside.

but even it does, i still believe i did it rite,

i dont wanna break others heart just to keep mine.

thanks for what u once gave me,

leaving wit a hug was the last thing i could only offer you.

i hope you see beauty in her and find each other importance within one another.

now i shall leave silently and go back to my world.

frenz

im never gonna be SO BLOODY STUPID AGAIN!!!

im never gonna organize class gathering ,

thanks to all those super COOPERATIVE ppl..

I tot it ppl would come after a year of not meeting each other,

but seems like im SO wrong,

so disappointed wit them.

after 2 yrs, and this is how much our frenship worth.

I SEE..

its ok, i finally see who is who and came to my senses.

i truly appreciate those ppl tat support me,

and those ppl who are truly busy i understand,

but im sure wit this totally disappointed attendees,

some of you are free,

and just bcus some others are not joining us,

doesn't mean we are not ur frens..

far & near

you never thought it was possible,
yet at times it seems so near;
you feel its presence,
but you cant grab hold to it...

through the mist, you see a shadow wondering near you,

but when you try to find it, its gone,

yet you never stop wondering whether was it really thr,

or were you just too imaginative,

as time goes by, with all this reoccuring around you,

you hesitated, wonder was it ever worth to duel on it,
things that always seem so blur;
you tried to give up, feel ur head with other thoughts,
but when you're alone, these thoughts starts lurking in ur mind again.

muahahahahaha, OVER

maths is over,OVER

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....

no more maths for me,

i feel so happy rite now,

gonna trough all my maths stuff away..

SRY to all my teacher for letting you down always,

since form 4.. :(

SRY,

Pn Azizah (F4&F5), Mrs Chua (tuition), Mr Tharam(college)

and no more,

wont ever wanna take maths subject again,

although its intereting, but im a stone,

and stone heads cant turn :p

MErmaid

I wil not be the like the real little mermaid,

who waited for the person she love and turn into bubbles.

Neither would i be the fairy tale mermaid,

Ariel who get to live happy ever after with prince Eric.

i dont think me and you will have a happy ever after,

and i can wait for you so long...

I shall move on.

I know you are aware of how i feel,

since no action was taken,

this proves how much I mean to you

if you really did feel for me..

So i guess its done then,

time to move on.

No point waiting for someone,

and sacrificing for you anymore..

you've proven how much i am to you,

so good bye,

from now,

Me,

You,

We're just FREINDS..

im gonna be ME, not your MAID...

tired, hungry & satisfy

today went sunway chiong k wit 2 so po,

see yuen & kit ying..

finally getta chiong k, but then still not enough...

going after trials again =)

then walk walk awhile, go back home...

find my way back home from sunway...

its wasn't that hard..

(hehehe, finally know how to go home =) )

but it deosn't end yet,

continue the crazyness in me at TCM..

when and watch 2 movies back to back without eating dinner...

to make things more extreme, i dint even have LUNCH...

=)

suprisingly im still standing,

watched step up 3, they kinna rock...

although i dont plan to do hip hop,

but the way they move its just ******,

SPEECHLESS...

when only i can be like tat?? (10 yrs)

then got free tickets for resident evil....

wow, the security was like****

first they took all our phone and cam,

then they got that thingi to check for metal on our body...

like we're going to some huge functions VIP in it....

hahaha,

but it was just a movie at Tropicana City Mall.....

finally got home now and can eat some thing...

i only ate 6 bananas 1 cup pf tea,loh hon guo & cereal for the entire day...

&

IM ALIVE!!!!

hehe =)

FAKE vs REAL

Can you tell the difference between them?
What is fake to you may be real to others,
but what is real to you may be fake to others.
so do you really know what is fake and what is real????

Sometimes the fake just seems so real,
or you wish it was real, so it became real to you.
Other times you wish the real was fake,
you lie to ur self making you believe it is fake.

so do you really know again wha is fake and real???
Because the fake may seem so real, and the real may seem so fake

i know i should be sleeping now, but i cant...

my headis fill with all sorts of thoughts now....

A guy tat once liked me finally found someone,

im happy for him.

but sometimes i wonder, izit my lost that i did not treasure him when i had the chance to??

After so many similar cases,

they always end up with someone else, but never me.

why dint i grab hold to the chance that i had once?

I guess im just too scared,

i was hurt once, and ONCE was enough!!

Its enough for me to never take second chances in LOVE.

Knowing how bad even a merely happen relationship realy hurt,

its enough for me to holdmy self back..

Although he doesn't really matters to me now,

and we are just frenz.

but i can never seem to forget the pain..

NOT the pain that he caused,

but the PAIN of how does bad relationships end up to be...

I just feel lonely sometimes, and wonder how will it be like to be loved...

the GUILT

i feel a guilt in me,

a guilt that its carved inside my heart...

i can never forget that day,

If i did not stun thr,

if i had did something,

if i had stay and not go,

maybe you will still be with me....

you were always my best listener..

although you never replied me,

but you will never turn ur back on me...

i miss you so much,

how many times when i sat alone,

i think of you...

tears just start to burst out of me...

how i wish i know whr are you rite now...

and even how more i wish you can be by my side everytime i need you...

but you're gone,

gone for good...

i cant tell you how sry i was and am for leaving you...

i love you,

if you are out thr now,

i hope you will find someone who love you more than me...

TO : Coco with LOVE...

Flash Backs

looking back throughout this year....
this year i would say till now its not a very happy year for me...
things has changed...
some change for the better, but others....
almost one year, wat have i done this year???
why do i feel so lost now????
dint i benefit throughout this year???
i cant smile now, i just feel so confuse,
and like i wasted my whole year..
ppl around me has changed,
i have changed...
i duno for the better or worst,
but i'm sure i've changed....
all i know now its im not very satisfy!!!!
nobody will ever see the tears behind my eyes.....

there we go on a merry go round again...

round and round the marry go round goes,

you and me sitting opposite each other,

sometimes i see you but most of the times i dont,

but as long as the marry go round goes,

you and me will always be alone....

now its all starting again rite.

few days back you took me out,

sure i was happy, but not as much compare to before.

today you stop texting me,

then coming months i lost contact with you...

and then you come find me again..

just like a marry go round..

the cycle just repeating till one of us decides to get of..

sometimes i wonder,

why you even bother finding me??

can you just stop this nonsense.

THANKS FOR KEEPING YOUR PROMISE...

what wrong with me???

maybe im just too tired,

maybe im just too stress up inside,

maybe i was thinking af something,

maybe you pick the wrong day,

maybe im just jealous,

maybe i feel lonely,

maybe i needed some one to talk bout random stuff and no one was thr,

maybe i was too annoyed by you,

maybe i was fakinf a smile everyday,

maybe i dun even know wat's going wrong within me now,

MAYBE IM GOING CRAZY or HAVING MILD DEPRESSION...

i fav princess

i hope i can be part of your world too, just like little mermaid

but sad to say, i do not live in the fantasy world

and in the real story, little mermaid turn into bubles and vanished.

so if that day ever comes, i hope i can be part of your world too.

me

this is what i feel like doing now,

walking off a never ending place,

not worrying bout where it end,
and how it ends.