frenz

im never gonna be SO BLOODY STUPID AGAIN!!!

im never gonna organize class gathering ,

thanks to all those super COOPERATIVE ppl..

I tot it ppl would come after a year of not meeting each other,

but seems like im SO wrong,

so disappointed wit them.

after 2 yrs, and this is how much our frenship worth.

I SEE..

its ok, i finally see who is who and came to my senses.

i truly appreciate those ppl tat support me,

and those ppl who are truly busy i understand,

but im sure wit this totally disappointed attendees,

some of you are free,

and just bcus some others are not joining us,

doesn't mean we are not ur frens..

far & near

you never thought it was possible,
yet at times it seems so near;
you feel its presence,
but you cant grab hold to it...

through the mist, you see a shadow wondering near you,

but when you try to find it, its gone,

yet you never stop wondering whether was it really thr,

or were you just too imaginative,

as time goes by, with all this reoccuring around you,

you hesitated, wonder was it ever worth to duel on it,
things that always seem so blur;
you tried to give up, feel ur head with other thoughts,
but when you're alone, these thoughts starts lurking in ur mind again.

muahahahahaha, OVER

maths is over,OVER

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....

no more maths for me,

i feel so happy rite now,

gonna trough all my maths stuff away..

SRY to all my teacher for letting you down always,

since form 4.. :(

SRY,

Pn Azizah (F4&F5), Mrs Chua (tuition), Mr Tharam(college)

and no more,

wont ever wanna take maths subject again,

although its intereting, but im a stone,

and stone heads cant turn :p

MErmaid

I wil not be the like the real little mermaid,

who waited for the person she love and turn into bubbles.

Neither would i be the fairy tale mermaid,

Ariel who get to live happy ever after with prince Eric.

i dont think me and you will have a happy ever after,

and i can wait for you so long...

I shall move on.

I know you are aware of how i feel,

since no action was taken,

this proves how much I mean to you

if you really did feel for me..

So i guess its done then,

time to move on.

No point waiting for someone,

and sacrificing for you anymore..

you've proven how much i am to you,

so good bye,

from now,

Me,

You,

We're just FREINDS..

im gonna be ME, not your MAID...

tired, hungry & satisfy

today went sunway chiong k wit 2 so po,

see yuen & kit ying..

finally getta chiong k, but then still not enough...

going after trials again =)

then walk walk awhile, go back home...

find my way back home from sunway...

its wasn't that hard..

(hehehe, finally know how to go home =) )

but it deosn't end yet,

continue the crazyness in me at TCM..

when and watch 2 movies back to back without eating dinner...

to make things more extreme, i dint even have LUNCH...

=)

suprisingly im still standing,

watched step up 3, they kinna rock...

although i dont plan to do hip hop,

but the way they move its just ******,

SPEECHLESS...

when only i can be like tat?? (10 yrs)

then got free tickets for resident evil....

wow, the security was like****

first they took all our phone and cam,

then they got that thingi to check for metal on our body...

like we're going to some huge functions VIP in it....

hahaha,

but it was just a movie at Tropicana City Mall.....

finally got home now and can eat some thing...

i only ate 6 bananas 1 cup pf tea,loh hon guo & cereal for the entire day...

&

IM ALIVE!!!!

hehe =)

FAKE vs REAL

Can you tell the difference between them?
What is fake to you may be real to others,
but what is real to you may be fake to others.
so do you really know what is fake and what is real????

Sometimes the fake just seems so real,
or you wish it was real, so it became real to you.
Other times you wish the real was fake,
you lie to ur self making you believe it is fake.

so do you really know again wha is fake and real???
Because the fake may seem so real, and the real may seem so fake

i know i should be sleeping now, but i cant...

my headis fill with all sorts of thoughts now....

A guy tat once liked me finally found someone,

im happy for him.

but sometimes i wonder, izit my lost that i did not treasure him when i had the chance to??

After so many similar cases,

they always end up with someone else, but never me.

why dint i grab hold to the chance that i had once?

I guess im just too scared,

i was hurt once, and ONCE was enough!!

Its enough for me to never take second chances in LOVE.

Knowing how bad even a merely happen relationship realy hurt,

its enough for me to holdmy self back..

Although he doesn't really matters to me now,

and we are just frenz.

but i can never seem to forget the pain..

NOT the pain that he caused,

but the PAIN of how does bad relationships end up to be...

I just feel lonely sometimes, and wonder how will it be like to be loved...

the GUILT

i feel a guilt in me,

a guilt that its carved inside my heart...

i can never forget that day,

If i did not stun thr,

if i had did something,

if i had stay and not go,

maybe you will still be with me....

you were always my best listener..

although you never replied me,

but you will never turn ur back on me...

i miss you so much,

how many times when i sat alone,

i think of you...

tears just start to burst out of me...

how i wish i know whr are you rite now...

and even how more i wish you can be by my side everytime i need you...

but you're gone,

gone for good...

i cant tell you how sry i was and am for leaving you...

i love you,

if you are out thr now,

i hope you will find someone who love you more than me...

TO : Coco with LOVE...

Flash Backs

looking back throughout this year....
this year i would say till now its not a very happy year for me...
things has changed...
some change for the better, but others....
almost one year, wat have i done this year???
why do i feel so lost now????
dint i benefit throughout this year???
i cant smile now, i just feel so confuse,
and like i wasted my whole year..
ppl around me has changed,
i have changed...
i duno for the better or worst,
but i'm sure i've changed....
all i know now its im not very satisfy!!!!
nobody will ever see the tears behind my eyes.....

there we go on a merry go round again...

round and round the marry go round goes,

you and me sitting opposite each other,

sometimes i see you but most of the times i dont,

but as long as the marry go round goes,

you and me will always be alone....

now its all starting again rite.

few days back you took me out,

sure i was happy, but not as much compare to before.

today you stop texting me,

then coming months i lost contact with you...

and then you come find me again..

just like a marry go round..

the cycle just repeating till one of us decides to get of..

sometimes i wonder,

why you even bother finding me??

can you just stop this nonsense.

THANKS FOR KEEPING YOUR PROMISE...

what wrong with me???

maybe im just too tired,

maybe im just too stress up inside,

maybe i was thinking af something,

maybe you pick the wrong day,

maybe im just jealous,

maybe i feel lonely,

maybe i needed some one to talk bout random stuff and no one was thr,

maybe i was too annoyed by you,

maybe i was fakinf a smile everyday,

maybe i dun even know wat's going wrong within me now,

MAYBE IM GOING CRAZY or HAVING MILD DEPRESSION...

i fav princess

i hope i can be part of your world too, just like little mermaid

but sad to say, i do not live in the fantasy world

and in the real story, little mermaid turn into bubles and vanished.

so if that day ever comes, i hope i can be part of your world too.

me

this is what i feel like doing now,

walking off a never ending place,

not worrying bout where it end,
and how it ends.

复杂

如果世界能简单一点就好。

如果人类能善良一些就好。

如果社会能容易一点就好。

如果真的都可以，那么世界有多么美好。

可惜现实生活往往是那么的糟糕。

如果每个人都能够用体谅的心情看待事情，

不用邪恶的心做事，

这世界就会更美了。

但觉得这是不可能达到的事。

追进的我的心清。

觉得闷焖的。好像心里被一块很大很大的石头压着，
想哭又不失，想笑也不是。
表面上的我可能笑的很开心，
但其实有时候越开心，反而是在掩饰心中的伤心。
有时候默默的躲在一旁自己的流泪。
为何流泪，我也不知道，只知道觉得很辛苦，很累，想休息。
我有时也不明白。

傻女孩，有回头！！

因为你的冷漠， 让我的心顿时的迷失了方向。
所以后来的我，不停的压缩自己，欺骗自己。

脸上总是带着一副笑容，
但心里头的滋味，却也没人看得透。

但不知不觉中，你有填满了我心里的空洞。
让我发现我原来还真正的放不下你。

变了。

我从来没指望过你会对我好，因为从一开始，我亦知道是个错误。
我本来告诉自己，千万不能陷下去，
可以喜欢你，但不能爱上你。

有时候爱你就有如折磨自己，因为我猜不透你到底是如何的看我。
你对我忽冷忽热的态度，令我难以抓摸你的心意。
但我就是不肯认输，宁愿相信那也是一种希望。
期望用我的真心与诚意，打动你的心，让你发现我的身影。
以为我可以等你，等到你看见我的存在，
但岁月慢慢的流失，我们也慢慢成长。
我以前的无知，不代表我以后的愚蠢。

我那天找到了和你同类的人，让我发现到我原来是一只住在海里的鱼。
外面的世界是多么的精彩。
虽然说，我还是没完全的放下你。
在我心中，你依然保留了一扇门，还是为你而打开，
但在这同时我再也不会锁上其它的门了。
只是你的门前有一盏灯和一个已打开的心窗，而其它的门是没有的。

相处

为一个人死，谈何容易，

这只需要头脑里一时的冲动。

但和一个人相处却是那么的难。

这需要的不是一时冲动，

而是每天的迁就着对方，

彼此了解对方的感受，明白对方的想法；

不可以应为一时的冲动而做出一些无法挽回的事，

倒是要这么挽回也太晚了。

若你已彻底的伤害了她的心，就算是这么挽回，

那疤痕依然是存在的。

你可知道失去一个人的信任是个多么容易的事，

而重新建立会彼此的信任不是一天就能做到的。

信任是经过多少岁月的磨练与痕迹来互相创造出来。

有人说，女人的心就像一颗完美的玻璃，

它有它一定的坚持度，

若你疼爱它，不去伤害它，

那片玻璃就永远都会那么完美和清澈的。

可是以当玻璃碎了，

它就会撒得满地都是碎片。

若你不管那片破碎的玻璃，

以然把它忽略在地上，那片玻璃就有可能割到自己。

但这片玻璃，永远都会是个有裂痕的玻璃了。

你可以说我笨，我傻，但我还是愿意等你。
你可以认为我是个白痴，但我还是愿意默默守护你。

你可能不知道，只要看到你，我就会兴奋。
你可能不知道，只要站在你旁边，我就会开心。
你可能不知道，每次听到你的声音，我都会觉得很快乐。
你可能也不知道，每次等着你来接我，我都会很波不急待等着你的出现。
你更加不会知道，每当我到了家门口，我有多么多么不想下车，
多么希望时间可以停顿下来，应为我不知道有要等到何时我才能又见到你。

只要你的一句话，我就会想尽办法的帮你。
只要你的一句话，我就会愿意陪着你。
也只要你的一句话，我就属于你的。

为何你看不出我对你的用心？？
为何你不明白我的心意？？
为何你听不出我喜欢你？？
为何你不敢拿出一点勇气？？
那为何你又要对我那么好？？？？？

难道是我不够好吗？
难道是我误会了吗？？
难道只是我一厢情愿吗？？？

如果真的是我一厢情愿而已，我也不会怪你，
应为可能是我表达到不够明确。
如果是我一厢情愿而已，我还是愿意等你回心转意。
如果是我一厢情愿，我愿意做那个在背后支持你的人。
如果真的是我自己一厢情愿而已，你喜欢另一个她，我也会真心的祝福你。
然后选择安静的离开你，只会在你需要我的时候，忽然的出现。

我到底算什么？

why ask me??

why not other frenz of urs??

why do you take the trouble to come all the way to my house when you are already there,

just to pick me up and help you choose a few shirts..

why isit when you need company,

you will not hesitate to ask me??

dont you know how i feel about you,

but i cant read your thoughts!!!

why when ur fren missunderstand that you come out pak toh wit me,

you did not deny??

or are all guys like that???

why do you want me to give you opinion whether it was nice or not?

why do you need me to wait out side the dressing room for you??

why when i offer to help you fold ur sleeves,

you did not refuse my offer??

why dint you say that you could do it ur self ??

why must you tell me that the first person you think of is me,

when you wanted to go shopping??

why do you buy the tie i choose for you??

but usually we do not have much to talk about.

and dun see each other often too..

can some one pls tell me what deos this mean!!!

trip to china.

well, just came back from trip, which was really tiring, but fun, made lots of new frenz during the trip, they were all so nice, friendly and funny people.. there were 16 of us oni, it was a small tour group, so everybody had a chance to interact with each other.. talking to all those jie jie and ko ko was really nice, they were really cute..

first day arrive at Hang Zhou, it was really nice and kinna roomantic. the enviroment thr was really nice as the goverment of china control the polution at that area.. they have a saying that 上有天堂， 下有苏杭. the scenery thr was really nice, lots of couple just sit beside the lake and pak toh there. then later we went to Su Zhou. we went to the silk factory, do you know that silk is wat we use to make bullet prove shirt? damn cool.. we tried to poke through ten layers or strech out silk and couldn't penetrate it. according to the tour guide there, if you put a piece of silk under ur bed, you wont get "feng sap" , you can try that out for ur self.. silk is know to keep you warm during winter and cool during summer, and then more sceneries.

then later that, we went to the jed place. 玉碎，人平安，they say jed can protect us. 3 things to see whether the jed is real, use the jed and scratch the glass, and the jed its still fine, 2nd listen to the sound whether its 青翠or not, lastly see the jed whether is clear 清澈 under the ligth.

and so on so on la... dint really had much time for shopping, and the things there ain't that cheap as you think. do you know the Bata shoes there is selling for like 300-500 RMB which is like RM150 -250 here. a small advise,never go shopping at shopping complex, its like super expensive.. if you wanna shop, go to those places where you get to bargain, it so much cheaper.. you can bargain like 70% the price they offer you. if not just walk away, and some may come after you to sell the things to you..

still got lots of things, but lazy write d.. next time la, if i ever remember...

~Things and Ppl i love~

I love most of all,

well its me!!! (hehehe)

i love teddy bear,

i love my family,

i love my chou stiky ko!!!

i love my krs seniors,

i love my darlings & honeys,

i love my tam tam,

fish fish, liv pig,

i love chocolate,

love sleeping,

love you and me,

love peace,

love happiness

love my current class mates,

Alicia, joanna, qian2, jin li, long2 &....

love making fun of kuvanesh & angus,

love LICK CLUB,

love my 5P3,

love 6H,

love my doggie,

love my granma,

love my house,

love my "alive" toys,

love my accessories,

love my cloths but still want more,

love my toilet,

love camping,

love playing,

love hearing musics

love dancing

love cooking,

love being "38" at times,

love to smile at some random ppl and they smile back to me,

love talking alot,

love playing,

love eating,

love my private time

love drawing,

love painting,

love just doing nothing

love looking at the stary nite,

love to be in my fairy tale,

love to wacth disney princess cartoons

love watching anime,

love to eat sioa long pao & din sum,

love doing mask,

love to see and learn how ppl cut hair,

and love i oso duno still got what anymore!!!

i love to be me!!!

what am I??

how much i like you???
i get jealous of every girl you talk to...
i will do anything as long i can do it for you..
just a msg makes me happy the entire day..
one call may last me for 2 days..
one outing wit only you,
will make me happy for a week although nothing much happen

i know you know i like you,
but why do you always wanna break my heart??
aren't I good enough for you??
ok, i may not be the best,
but stop torturing me like that..

you know what, im really tired of you treating me like that,
i shall just forget bout this silly feelings,
stop sweet talking me if you dun have feeling for me,
you're such a bastard!!
using me as you know that i would help you!!!
how could you treat me like that..

you know what,
i wont blame it all on you,
its partly my fault too for believing in ur sweet lies,
i'll never be that dumb again..
and my trust towards all guys just drop 50% thanks to you!!!

i like it on you...

where is my prince charming???
why cant you be in the list of the ppl who like me???
i've been in ur list long long ago,
dun you notice me???
im hell tired staying like this!!!
if you dun like me, stop doing little things to give me hope!!!
if you like me, can you at least say it or hint it??
wat is ur problem man..
be a man!!!
face me like a man!!!

fun fun fun!!!

today went 1u= pok kai
go there find parking like crazy oni!!!
wat to do, its labours day..

we went makan sushi(money gone)
but it was pretty fun,
so long dint eat so much sushi d!!(yum yum)
eat eat eat,
munch munch munch!!
saw some funny and weird thing thr too...

ok, so after eating,
talk and chat with liv, su yi and tam..
haha, all the funny things!!! love love...
then pay bill and ciaoz,
exercise after eat, hang kai kai!!

buy movie tickets,
we went snatch ppl booking tickets...
kekekeke(evil laugh)
IRON MAN!!!

movie waas not bad!!!
iron man so hot!!!
and scarlet oso very sexy,
ok ok, must diet d...
after all the calories today!!
my target,
scarlet san choi!!!
hope i can do it, but i think sure fail de!!!
hahaha

overall had a really fun outing with those bunch of cute retards!!!

dont you know???

why dont you get the message!!!
or is it you dont want to get it???

outing with you 2

you look perfect to me,
as you always do.
this is the first time we went out,
enjoyed it,
though we talk bout mostly super random stuff.
hehehe...

glad you are using the chain i gave you,
i will use mine too,
i wonder ...
arghhh nvm...

thanks for beanja me makan sai mai lou,
it was really really sweet!!!
love it!!!
take care my dear,
see you soon!!!

outing with you...

happy you came find me today
although it was really short while,
but there will still be plenty of chances!!!

i know we dun have much topic to talk bout,
and i dun really encourage you to join those things,
but if you wanna continue doin it,
i just hope you will be very carefull.

i duno why i cant tell you how bad i fell bout those things,
actually i know why i cant,
but i just cant put it in words.
but just remember,
if anything happens you can always rely on me,
your fren,
and i know i can too...

happy

I,

tmr..

should be a good begining.

although i dun hope much,

but im still very very excited!!!

im flying in the air now!!!

Second Sweet Dream!!

yesterday after the long long party,
was so tired then slept immediately after i lay on my bed.

i only remember 2parts of my dream.
well, one was with peatree in it,
she had a new touch screen phone!!
haha(so she wish, kekeke)..

the other was me and a guy walking back home.
on the way back to my hse,
thr were this beautiful trees along the path way.
then we were walking and playing on the way.

while playing, suddenly thr were fire works in the sky,
those fire works were not those normal fire works,
it was very special fire works,
hard to describe how it looks like.
then we were standin,
my back faced him, and his arms was around my waist.
it was so warm and cuddly.
felt so protected, happy and "xin fu"...

MY DADDY IS AWESOME!!!

love my daddy,
was talking to hi just now!!!
although his kinna "chiong hei"
but the way he looks at things are so great man!!!
is like alien looking into earth!! hahaha...

he told me confidence is just like a switch!!!
if you choose to turn it on, its on.
but if u do not on it, its off.

he also told me that those pass shadow must be overcome,
and i will be a better person too.

i told me so much tat i can write it all out!!!
in conclusion,
my dad is awesome!!!
and I LOVE YOU DAD!!!

没人能把谁的幸福没收我发誓我会活的有笑容

TOO LATE... X>

Only now i know the truth...
how could you decide for me at that time!!!
how would you know what's best for me??
you dint even ask me...
and all you gave me was some lame answer,
which i was so STUPID to believe it...

if i knew that this was your reason,
i would not let go, i would try to hold on to it..
i would not have gave up on it so easily..

do you know it hurts no matter what...
that was just an excuse for your self to make you feel better...

but all that is said now its too late,
time will not turn back till that day again,
it was hard for me that time,
but now, im over it aldi,
so i just want you to know,
whether you see this or not, i dun blame you!!!
we were both young dumb and naive,
so dun feel guilty anymore, because i forgive you..

although it was really short,
but till now i still remember every small detail of those days.
the first sweet you gave me was mentos sour grape flavour!!!
so thank you too,
for helping me grow up!!!

累了

有时候，有时候

我也会累，

也会孤单，寂寞

无奈。

我也需要一个人的肩旁，

让我累了，

有躺着，依靠。

有个怀抱，

让我安心的窝在里面。

nobody knows me.

nobody wants to know me.

nobody wants to give in effort to know me.

everybody just assume they know me,

but that what they think only,

they actually just see me on the outside,

but they never understand what is i the inside.

college

holiday is no holiday!!!
sob sob sob!!!

lets talk bout college life...
well, ppl i meet thr aren't bad i guess...
thr is 29 ppl i my P3 class, and oni 7 guy!!!
1 kinda weird, 1 writting super tiny, 1 speak damn soft,
1 thinks hia an angel, 1 have big nose, 1 smoke but is trying to cut down
and 1 i dun really know yet!!!

the girls!!
me, super awesome(*cough cough*):P
anna, qian da, karren, hou yi aka commander, long irene,
cutie kim, lame mei yih and funny alicia!!!
the middle table(noisy)
laugh at annabel, darling shiela, jullian sweet heart,
evil rachel tan ang another rachel goh, boobies fiona keke,
and class wrap deetraa(pretty)
third table,
jing yi dai ka jie, annoying and most complains karyee,
jiggly li theng, miss li yung and phang phang de mei kuan!!!

yup all my class mates,
dun think i missed out any!!!hope not!!
guy im close with in the class,
angus dai ko, big bully too, always tease me..
jeremy the devil but smartie pants...
justin with the squicky voice and talks super fast..
and
kay who dunno how to play chor dai di!!!

overall i'll say my class is not bad, kinda fun!!!
and you know wat!!!
my maths teacher used a sign diagram too find out who is lazy and hard working in class'_'"
screw all thise assignments man!!!
and in at the forth floor!!!
walking up and down everyday is a damn"good" exercise!!!

i think tat's bout all of my class!!!
till next time!!

NEW BUT NO MORE OLD???

after more interaction with college ppl

i feel tat college life isn't tat bad!!

but is kinda tired!!

i met new frenz n made some good frens in college!!!

but most of all, i met someone!!!

(dun get the wrong idea)

although he is a guy,

and i just know him recently!!!

but somehow, i think he is a good guy!!

but does tat mean i forget the old one???

im not sure too!!!

i guess things like tat would not be forgotten so easily...

it will just be burried deep inside till somebody really has the power to earase it!!!

so i guess its the same for me!!

looking through all my photos, ive realise!!!

although i miss my high skool frenz alot,

but now in my college life,

i oso made new frenz!!

without having to seperate from them,

i would not realise those days how much they meant to me...

walking through out side those classes..

seeing n spying all my frens during class was so much fun!!!

running fron class to class when teacher are not around,

hiding away from those discipline teacher,

those days will never come back again!!

tat day i met a discipline teacher outside in a coffe shop!!

i am no longer scared of her,

amd no longer need to hide from her,

cause i know,

im not under her conrtol anymore..

she is no longer responsible for wat i do!!

i've grow up!!!

too all those who are still in high school,

treasure ur moments with ur frens thr,

not long later u will know tat u r gonna be apart!!

after taking all the advise from a close fren

n my most beloved ko,

i did it!!!

but after it, everything just went back to normal!!!

but i sort of tot it would be like tat..

EXPECTED!!

but at least i still did it!!!

and im still alive!!! hahaha...

BROGA!!!

what a unforgettable experience!!!

we started journey at 3.30a.m.++

then 1hr or more reach there!!!

climb up like not so hard la, but go down damn scary!!

cause it was muddy...

walao, first time go there then heavy rain!!!

damn cold lo at the top..

got so much mist, lucky got hot tea, if not can freeze wei!!!

no umbrella n rain coat, sit down there under the rain for almost 2 hrs oso got,

at the top 1st peek of the mountain,

freezing man, all soak n wet, n the wind so strong!!!

lucky there got other ppl,

if not oni 4 of us damn scary lo, so dark n coooooold!!!

i think 5 something only rain stop!!!

n we dint get to see sun rise!!!

geramnya!!!

must go again someday!!!

next time go wat oso bring!!!

dun wanna have same experience like tis time anymore!!!

will not give up till i get to see the sun rise!!